Day 137

Today was the funeral. We spent the morning cleaning up a few details in the files. Then it was get dressed up and go to the funeral.

The funeral was very well attended. There were a lot of relatives (aunts, cousins, and shirttale relatives) that I hadn't seen in literally decades. The service went off well. I managed to read my eulogy with my voice breaking only at the end.

After the service was a dinner where we got a chance to reconnect with these people that we are related to butt never see. I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. We came home with a bunch more food - sandwiches and desserts. We won't have to fix a meal for days.

When we got home we spent the evening decompressing. Dan and I had beers. Mom and Julia played with the kids. Later on Dan and I played with the kids while Mom and Julia read.

I've decided to include a copy of my eulogy here. Not because I think that it's a particularly good one. I'm just doing it because I want to:

I admired my father. He did something I decided I could never do. He supported a wife and three kids thru college on a single income and still managed to retire comfortably. To me, that’s a great accomplishment and a good definition of a successful life. That wasn’t all. He managed to raise three successful sons along the way (I guess Mom would add that she had something to do with that too).

A man takes on a lot of heavy responsibilities when he decides to become a father. Dad met those responsibilities. Besides providing for his family’s food, clothing, and shelter he was always there. Let’s face it. Many times he was there bringing thunder and lightning, but you could tell that it was because he cared.

One example of how he cared that’s always stuck with me is when he turned down moving to Bartlesville due to the pleading of the family. It basically ended his chances at advancement with Phillips Petroleum. I’ve been to Oklahoma and I will be eternally grateful that he agreed not to move us there.

Dad provided his sons with a lot of valuable lessons. He taught us that the only way to accomplish anything meaningful is through hard work. Just as importantly he taught us how to work hard. He taught us that much of life is a competition, and it matters where you place. He taught us the value of a dollar (my wife sometimes says he taught me that one too well).

He also had a very quiet way of showing us what was important to him. For example - every day - regardless of when he needed to be at work, he drove each of us to school. In one swoop he showed us he wanted life to be better for his children than for him- no marathon bus rides as he had into Colfax for his boys - and that an education - going to school - is an important foundation.

Dad wasn’t the most articulate of people when it came to personal subjects. But I think that he wanted all of his sons to succeed and that these lessons were his best attempt to insure that we would. I think he did well.

I’ve pretty much been talking about my experiences of Dad as a father. I want to mention one other thing about him that I think speaks volumes about the kind of man he was. When our country was threatened, he stood up and defended it. That is a rare and special thing.

Dad died of a terrible disease. It’s a disease that takes away the person long before it takes away his presence. So in one sense he hasn’t been with us for some time. I missed him when his mind went away, and I miss him more now.